Original
Message 1/4
Date: 08-Dec-08 @ 01:09 PM Edit: 08-Dec-08 | 01:22 PM -
some words of advice
1 . The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math
disruption.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. Two silk worms had a race. They ended in a tie.
8. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
9. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
10. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a-head.'
11. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
12. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'
13. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said,
'No change yet.'
14. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
15. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
16. Don't join dangerous cults; practice safe sects.
On another note here is the story about my Halloween this year. At the last minute I went to
buy a costume. The only one left at the store was one that showed how many miles there are
to an inch. Reluctantly I bought it and went home to look through my spice rack. Luckily I found
the spice I was looking for and after putting on the costume I doused myself in the spice. So
you were right. If you saw me this Halloween, I was indeed a legend in my own thyme.