Original Message 1/6                 Date: 05-Apr-03  @  03:55 PM   -   How to get away with a ticket LOL

§ï†ÅR

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Speeding
A driver is pulled over by a police man.
Man: Is there a problem Officer?
Officer: Sir, you were speeding.
Man: Oh I see.
Officer: Can I see your licence please?
Man: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer: Don't have one?
Man: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Man: I can't do that.
Officer: Why not?
Man: I stole this car.
Officer: Stole it?
Man: Yes, and I killed and raped the owner.
Officer: You what?
Man: She's in the boot if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the man and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer2: Sir, could you step out of your vehicle please! The man steps out of his vehicle.

Man: Is there a problem sir?
Officer2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Man: Murdered the owner?
Officer2: Yes, could you please open the boot of your car.

The man opens the boot, revealing nothing but an empty boot.

Officer2: Is this your car sir?
Man: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The officer is quite stunned.

Officer2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving licence.

The man digs in his pocket revealing a wallet and hands it to the officer. The officer opens the wallet and examines the licence. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer2: Thank you sir, one of my officers told me you didn't have a licence, stole this car, raped and murdered the owner.
Man: Bet you the lying bastard told you I was speeding too.

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Message 2/6                 Date: 05-Apr-03  @  04:24 PM   -   RE: How to get away with a ticket LOL

xoxos

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it doesn't work. some cop gave me a ticket one night, he said it "looked like i was trying to get away" when in actuality he didn't get on the road until i was a mile down it. he miscopied my license plate number, misspelled my name, noted the colour and description of my vehicle, and the colour of my hair (right on my driver's license) and i still got a ticket.. i guess he was patying attention only where it mattered then..

six months later i saw my judge on the telly getting in trouble for saying "all women who wear red shoes are whores," and in court he referenced my bike as a "crotch rocket" (a yammie maxim 650 isn't a cafe cruiser folks.)

what a fucking piece of shit he was. society is for stupid idiots.

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Message 3/6                 Date: 05-Apr-03  @  04:59 PM   -   RE: How to get away with a ticket LOL

§ï†ÅR

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Damn. But it was just a joke Xoxos. You have a bike? Cool. I had a few.

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Message 4/6                 Date: 06-Apr-03  @  12:04 AM   -   RE: How to get away with a ticket LOL

sox

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[image file]

Hey xoxos, I didn't know you ride. Cool. Post up a pic.

Here's me at the BMF last May at the Club Cavalcade run.

www.rebelclub.org.uk

sox

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Message 5/6                 Date: 06-Apr-03  @  12:07 AM   -   RE: How to get away with a ticket LOL

sox

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Ooops. Back on topic.

Here in the UK if you don't sign the piece of paper they send you after the camera has clocked you speeding they can't prosecute you. It's against the law to not send it back but not against the law not to sign it. They can't prosecute without a signature.
A write up in BSH magazine explains it. (I actually heard this years ago but didn't believe it...turns out it's true)

sox

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Message 6/6                 Date: 06-Apr-03  @  01:00 PM   -   RE: How to get away with a ticket LOL

xoxos

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i went round a corner after a monsoon had washed someone's yard over the road at about 10mph and took off more leg than is aesthetically pleasing. it's funny because i came off my bike at about 55 once and didn't even bruise., but it's been about 10 years since i rode a motor.

when i had a vespa (too much fun) i was pulled over for wreckless swerving between traffic whilst frying. talked my way out of that.. i guess i just didn't have enough acid to talk my way out of the other one.

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