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Subject: One up on the bureaucrats


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Original Message 1/5                 Date: 25-Jan-03  @  01:51 PM   -   One up on the bureaucrats

Anex

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Was in my e-mail  


This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan
Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.

Wait till you read this guy's response-but read the State's letter before
you get to the response letter.

This is the Letter

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County
Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality
that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced
parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or
contractor who did the following unauthorized activity:

Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the Outlet
stream of Spring Pond. A permit must be issued prior to the start of this
type of activity. A review of the department's files shows that no permits
have been issued. Therefore, the Department has determined that this
activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the
Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public
Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan
Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially
failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at
downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently
hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to
cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the
stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the
dams from the stream channel. All restoration work shall be completed no
later than January 31, 2002.

Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that
a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to
comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site
may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action. We
anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter.

Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,
David L. Price
District Representative Land and Water Management Division
_____________________________________________________________

This is the response:
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Dear Mr. Price,
Your certified letter dated 12/17/97 has been handed to me to respond to.

I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson
Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State
unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris"
dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond.

While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I
think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of
nature building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your
department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any
place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could
ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam
ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam
work ethic.

As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must
first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam
activity.

My first dam question to you is:

(1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring Pond Beavers or
(2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said
dam request?

If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through
the Freedom of information Act, I request completed copies of all those
other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will
see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and
Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451
of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the
Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern is, aren't the beavers entitled
to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute
and are unable to pay for said representation so the State will have to
provide them with a dam lawyer.

The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed
during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a
natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other
words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harass
them and call them dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam
free-flow condition please contact the beavers - but if you are going to
arrest them, remember that they obviously did not pay any attention to
your dam letter as they are unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring Pond Beavers have a right to build their
unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water
flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy
Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental
Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources
(the Beavers) and the environment (the Beavers' Dams.).

So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be
referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until
1/31/2002? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there
will be no way for you or your dam staff to contact/harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention to a real
environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears!
Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you
should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone. If
you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! (The bears
are not careful where they dump!)

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact
you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam
office.

Sincerely,
Ryan DeVrie



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Message 2/5                 Date: 25-Jan-03  @  01:52 PM   -   RE: One up on the bureaucrats

Anex

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Grrrr! Sorry, the forum text wrapping has screwed up the layout



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Message 3/5                 Date: 25-Jan-03  @  02:49 PM   -   RE: One up on the bureaucrats

milan

Posts: 5701

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thats dam funny!  



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Message 4/5                 Date: 25-Jan-03  @  03:49 PM   -   RE: One up on the bureaucrats

psylichon

Posts: 4573

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man, wouldn't you love to be the person in the dam office reading that dam letter. I woulda pissed meself.



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Message 5/5                 Date: 26-Jan-03  @  01:45 AM   -   RE: One up on the bureaucrats

Steve Roughley

Posts: 1178

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Hahahahahahahahah! That is just bloody brilliant!      

Steve.



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