Original Message 1/54                 Date: 21-Oct-02  @  03:38 PM   -   surrealist fun for all the family

steef

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"steef is a teddybear that cannot be removed
from your house! It is made from recycled
cardboard and recites haiku."

quality.

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Message 2/54                 Date: 21-Oct-02  @  06:06 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

milan

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hey look at me:

"milan is like a normal razor, but it emits thick black smoke."

lets see you try to up that one ;)

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Message 3/54                 Date: 21-Oct-02  @  09:05 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

moonunit

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"moonunit is a pot plant that obeys simple instructions! It shoots laser beams and is used by the US military."

setup !

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Message 4/54                 Date: 21-Oct-02  @  09:16 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

xoxos

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xoxos is like a normal samurai sword, but it can be used by the whole family.

lovely linky you little moonster.

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Message 5/54                 Date: 21-Oct-02  @  09:59 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

99devils

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99devils is a sheet of paper that fetches help in the event of an emergency, holds up to twenty cigarettes and comes in seven different colours.


Sounds a bit too much like Towelie for me...

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Message 6/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  09:31 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

bedwyr

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bedwyr is an ornately-engraved sphere that looks better than it sounds, smells of flowers and keeps food fresh for up to eight weeks.

what my mam always said.

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Message 7/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  10:59 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

cheddar

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cheddar is a billboard that sounds better than it looks, jams mobile phone frequencies and boosts self-confidence.

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Message 8/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  12:11 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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psylichon is a cufflink that doesn't take no for an answer!

I'm changing my name.

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Message 9/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  01:04 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Maarten

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maarten is a television set that glows in the dark and keeps your teeth clean.

Mines too cool... hehe. Hmmm, now where are my glow-sticks?

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Message 10/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  01:50 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Zazza

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zazza is a stick.

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Message 11/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  02:45 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Steve Roughley

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roughley is a human clone! It is also available in white!

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Message 12/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  02:46 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Steve Roughley

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Had to give this a go:

grandmother is a Christmas tree that has room for a wafer-thin plastic sheet inside, looks really, really good and stays exactly where you leave it.


Regards

Steve.

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Message 13/54                 Date: 22-Oct-02  @  03:31 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Maarten

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I'm sooo easily amused, it's pathetic actually

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Message 14/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  12:15 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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Oh man, I REALLY wanna revert to my old handle now:

improv is a hi-fi that hums incessantly! It speaks with the voice of James Earl Jones.

Now that's badass material.

psylichon

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Message 15/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  12:23 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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influx is a trouser press that smells a bit funny and works underwater.

ahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah

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Message 16/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  06:11 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

pict

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Pict is a spiritual experience that can only be felt whilst hangliding in a kilt through the heart of a Hebridean storm eating square sliced sausage.

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Message 17/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  06:45 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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vomitous is an alcoholic drink that kills all known germs dead! It purifies water.

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Message 18/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  10:04 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Pongoid

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pongoid is a monkey-like creature that realises that simply because he walks on two legs does not necessarily qualify him as being human, normally smells mildly of peppermint, and has a tendency to make strange noises.

His mother was not a hampster and his father did not smell of elderberries.

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Message 19/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  11:01 AM     Edit: 23-Oct-02  |  11:01 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

Maarten

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And now use this link : http://thesurrealist.co.uk/priorart.cgi

;)

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Message 20/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  11:09 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

milan

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haha  

and while at it:

haha is a handgun that uses the Amazon API, works in the rain and improves blood clotting.

:O

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Message 21/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  09:12 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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yeah pongoid we werent just making shit up 

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Message 22/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  09:56 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

xoxos

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love
love is a tricycle that fetches your hat, revolves and affixes to any flat surface.

life
life is a shopping bag that checks your spelling, is laced with vodka and glows with an eerie green light.

sex
sex is a CD player that cannot be removed from your house! It produces 240v of electricity and probably won't work.

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Message 23/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  10:29 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

bedwyr

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insect overlord is a web page that jumps like a frog! It knows what you want before you do and responds to temperature changes.

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Message 24/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  11:12 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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that is some silly shit!

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Message 25/54                 Date: 23-Oct-02  @  11:18 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

answer man

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the key to the universe is like a normal biro,
but it must be replaced every morning.

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Message 26/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  12:05 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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Man, this thread could really go on forever now, couldn't it? :}

sadaam hussein is a Christmas tree that plays the American national anthem [!], has no moving parts and can be used by the whole family.

george w. bush is a fridge magnet that runs on compressed air, is completely reversible and hovers.

(das deep man)

my dick is a vacuum cleaner that's not suitable for children, is actually just a solid block of plastic and has a million household uses.

AHAHAHAHAHAH, now that one's good! I bet all your dicks do the same thing... heheh

psylichon

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Message 27/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  12:44 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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oh yeah! is it the same every time?

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Message 28/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  01:02 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

steef

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yup.

click the new linky people, it's for a better
tomorrow (:

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Message 29/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  01:36 AM     Edit: 24-Oct-02  |  01:38 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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not impressed with that one, steef :}

now the first one... man, get me away from this thing:

my ass is like a normal waffle iron, but it's laced with vodka.

my scrotum is a blow-up doll that emits heat!

www.dancetech.com is a featureless cube that records memos and displays pornography.

a fart is a stereo system that sticks to the skin!


try typing in "a gun" and see a glitch!

Oh my god can you tell I have no life or what?

psylichon

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Message 30/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  01:41 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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"www.dancetech.com is a featureless cube that records memos and displays pornography. "

bwwwahaaaahahahahahahhahahahahahahahahah

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Message 31/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  02:13 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

n3

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n3 is like a normal breakfast cereal, but it works at twice the normal speed.

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Message 32/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  02:17 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

steef

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*sniff* but I only wanted to eat your brains.
Hardly unreasonable.

"eating brains for fun is like a normal
suppository, but it induces lucid dreaming."

how did they know?

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Message 33/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:05 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

marianimal

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"animal is like a normal waffle iron, but it's laced with vodka."

Hilarious linky. Pongoid and Pict, you guys just made yours up. Use the link!

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Message 34/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:11 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

dj consuelo

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dj consuelo is a toilet seat! It always points to magnetic north!

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Message 35/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:12 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

guards of magog

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guards of magog is a cricket bat that catches small fish, cuts through stone as if it were butter and uses the Amazon API.

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Message 36/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:13 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

bps

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bass pro shop is a stapler that moulds to fit its user!

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Message 37/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:29 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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and damballah is a poor soul suffering from MPD. We should all chip in and get him help!

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Message 38/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:31 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

damballah

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hehehe

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Message 39/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  04:35 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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ok, I think we're starting to get enough info to reverse-engineer this site's algorithm. I mean, did anyone else notice that animal and my ass are the same thing?

(wouldn't be the first time I heard that one, knowudimean knowudimean, nudge, nudge)

psylichon

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Message 40/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  11:06 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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yeah, I got a match. My ass and your face

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Message 41/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  01:38 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

steef

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"gary neville is a twatty northern mong! he
should be exiled to the isle of man and
banned from playing for england."

i made that one up. sadly.

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Message 42/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  07:16 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

marianimal

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Influx, that was kinda mean. Maybe you should relax, take a bubble bath or something. Yeah, I noticed I got the same result as someone else, someone's ass, at that. Oh well, I can appreciate an ass. :-)

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Message 43/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  07:22 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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hey, it's really everyone's ass that you resemble (anyone can type in "my ass" and get that description). I'm just the one who noticed it first. And believe you me, there are much worse things to look like than my ass  

and I think influx was kidding. Man, you really get misinterpreted there, don't ya, dood? :}

psylichon

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Message 44/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  09:04 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

xoxos

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it's funny because it makes you imagine what if someone really had an ass for a face. you can really see it, no, look, think: what if, where the face was, it was just ass?!!!! lol lol!! great, isn't it?! an ass, but then face! it's so silly isn'5t it it's killing me!! imagine what this crazy ass face creature would be thinking, eh? "woah.. i gotta find a place i can shit in" ha ha lol lol lol or "these polyester boxers itch" lol lol!!!! this IS the surrealist threa!!

i, roboteater

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Message 45/54                 Date: 24-Oct-02  @  09:08 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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mr. stinky mouth

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Message 46/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  05:26 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

marianimal

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I'm going to look at everyone I meet tonight and pretend they have an ass for a face. What fun! Whee! Better stop short of pinching their ass, though. That could get me into trouble.

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Message 47/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  06:14 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

damballah

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Message 48/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  06:55 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

pict

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That's some adams apple it has got.

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Message 49/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  11:50 AM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

xoxos

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wow! someone's grafitti'ed a really evil grinning face on it's rear..

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Message 50/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  02:36 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

damballah

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tattooed. it's andy's "art project". surrealist fun for all the family pets as well.

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Message 51/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  07:28 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

psylichon

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you mean he actually tatooed that smile across that poor little dog's anus? I'm not one of those lovey dovey animal activists or anything, but surely there are less cruel ways to satisfy your artistic needs. Damn, that's wrong.

psylichon

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Message 52/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  07:46 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

bedwyr

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it's probably henna or something. either way it's hardly surreal putting wings on a pig, first idea that came into his head no doubt. how about a frying pan, engraved with the words "i love porky, he's my friend and dinner"?

not that that's surreal either  

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Message 53/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  08:33 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

xoxos

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actually, if you can find some way to put some cruelty in your artwork, you'll find it's much easier to do it for longer than you thought possible!

sorry my previous comment was a bit off tempo but i was hung up on the way the dog looks like a forlorn spaceman like he just got his ass wrongfully tattooed before i saw (what i naturally took to be marker)

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Message 54/54                 Date: 27-Oct-02  @  10:11 PM   -   RE: surrealist fun for all the family

influx

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whoa marianimal..never took you for the over-sensitive type!

I was completely just jokin. ass and face..reminded me of the smartass comment people used to toss when youd ask for a match

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