Original Message                 Date: 22-Aug-03  @  10:44 PM     Edit: 22-Aug-03  |  10:45 PM   -   in the bar again

§ï†ÅR

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then there was the time I staggered into yon bar with a steering wheel stuffed in me pants. "Ya know ya gots a steering wheel stuffed in yer pants, there matey?" The barmaid asks of me.

Arrrrr, it's driving me nuts, is my reply.

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Message 21/34                 Date: 27-Aug-03  @  11:01 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

milan

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bwahaha

man its been ages since i heard a GOOD joke!

any around?

*cough*

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Message 22/34                 Date: 28-Aug-03  @  04:26 AM   -   RE: in the bar again

Influx

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sorry. I know thats old as feck...but I thought it was funny

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Message 23/34                 Date: 28-Aug-03  @  11:49 AM   -   RE: in the bar again

k

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In the old days you'd hear a couple of cracking new jokes every week... Even jokes are dying out in Bush's brave new world.

ah wait... here's one from me mate's kid:

Saddam Hussain & His son are walking down the road after visiting the chip-shop. Saddam says: "Son!... You're dropping your chips everywhere!" - His son replies: "That's cos there's no bag dad"

lol!... er... it was funny when his 10 year old son told it anyways... prolly the way he tells 'em.

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Message 24/34                 Date: 28-Aug-03  @  12:18 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

spot

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heh heh heh, the little runt

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Message 25/34                 Date: 28-Aug-03  @  12:34 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

§ï†ÅR

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"heh heh heh, the little runt"

LMAO! That's actually funny K.

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Message 26/34                 Date: 28-Aug-03  @  04:00 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

Jock

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Q. whats blue and f*cks old people ?

A. Hyperthermia.

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Message 27/34                 Date: 29-Aug-03  @  09:07 AM   -   RE: in the bar again

spot

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whats brown and silver and s old grannies....a baseball bat with a nail in

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Message 28/34                 Date: 29-Aug-03  @  12:26 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

k

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ok, there's 2 old dears in an old folks home, and the few that still smoke have to smoke outside.

So 2 old dears are having a fag out on the patio, and it's raining... One says:

"Dammit!... My cigarette is getting wet!"

The other says:

"Not mine, cos i've put this condom over it... Keeps it dry while I smoke!"

So the other old dear goes down to the chemist on their next 'visit to town' in the minibus, and says to the chemist guy:

"I want a condom please!"

The guy looks surprised at such an old wrinkly wanting a condom, so he says for a joke:

"Um... certainly madam.. What size?"

"I dunno about these things", says the old dear, "But it has to fit a Camel!"

drrrr-tish!

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Message 29/34                 Date: 29-Aug-03  @  12:36 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

§ï†ÅR

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LOL!

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Message 30/34                 Date: 29-Aug-03  @  12:48 PM   -   RE: in the bar again

k

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Old dear joke 2

A family is placing dear old gran into a home, so they go down to visit after she's been in for a month, and they are all sitting in the visitor room with the Manager and their mum chatting about how she's doing and whatever...

All of a sudden, the gran starts to lean over to one side in her chair like she's dozing off... Quickly, one of the assistants walks over and props her back up-right again...they continue their conversation with the manager

Aagain, the old dear starts to gradualy lean over in her chair sideways as if she's falling asleep over the arm, and again an assistant props her back upright again

The conversation continues and the gran starts to lean over sideways several times as the conversation continues, and each time, as she's starting to lean over sideways onto the arm of the chair, an assistant hops over and keeps on propping her back upright again...

Eventualy the chat finishes and they are about to leave..

"Everything ok then Granny?... The manager says you're doing really well!"

Granny replies...

"Oh... it's ok I s'pose, but every time you go to fart they keep propping you back upright again!"

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