Original Message 1/24                 Date: 24-Jul-03  @  07:47 PM   -   Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

errata

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The Next GOVERNOR of the Broken State of California

Yes, it's true... I am taking this internet opportunity to announce my intention to seek the office of Governor in the State of California.

I'm not afraid of big money opportunists with hidden agendas and an air of moral superiority. I intend to shine a beacon (well, a candle maybe) on the corruption and lies and special interest BULLSHIT in this great land!

Let's face it kids... California is an awesome state, filled with beautiful lands and semi sedated people. All of which deserve a governor who shares their hopes, their dreams and their desire for gross consumption without personal responsibility. In short they deserve a man like Gray Davis, but since they can't have that weak kneed pillow biter, they might as well have, ME! Because let's face it kids, this state will just not be able to chill properly with a Republican Governor (did we learn nothing during the stressed out 80's and 90's!)

So here's the rub... I need $3500 to file my intent for election. And I need it fast!!! This is not a hoax... I'm serious (well, at least about my intention to run). But I can't do it without loyal supporters who are willing to cough up a few bucks.

So, I'm asking you to be brave and dare to dream of a powerful, wealthy land Governed by an extremely unlikely liberal hippy type who meditates and produces techno music! Dare to believe that in this great land, even a snide, sarcastic SLACKER can ascend to an unenviable position of responsibility by just being who he is and telling it straight!

I promise, if I can't raise the $3500 in time, I will return all moneys to all contributors. But if I can? well, look out Caifornia...

We're in this SHIT together my friends! I know you believe in me!

e

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Message 2/24                 Date: 24-Jul-03  @  08:57 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

cheddar

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leave em to it e

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Message 3/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  01:47 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

99devils

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Borrow it from Schwartzenegger  

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Message 4/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  01:58 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Maarten

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Why doesn't he just sell his gear?

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Message 5/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  06:29 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

errata

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It's the idea of a social joke...

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Message 6/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  06:35 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

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It's a social prank! I have a friend on the morning show at our local radio station who has agreed to put me on the air if I can get on the ballot. This means I can at LEAST reach thousands in the capital city of California.

The plan is to laugh my way into a campaign designed to highlight the inequities and rabble of our bullshit system. I don't intend to win, or even get a ton of attention. But, really... If we can play a public prank in a circus atmosphere, why not?!!!!

But either way, I'm determined to do it on donations. That way more people are in on the joke, and it carries (at least for me) more weight... it wouldn't be funny to me if it was simply self indulgent.

dare to dream

e

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Message 7/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  06:52 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Maarten

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ah, I thought you quoted that text from somewhere... you have my blessing though. Don't forget to legalize  

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Message 8/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  08:42 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Influx

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why do you need money? that doesnt make sense whatsoever

sadly, Im not too keen on contributing to throwing away $3500 that would be better spent elsewhere, especially as a "joke"...

I see the point...but Id rather get involved if there was a chance of actually DOING something, not just getting a laugh ("look at that hippy, as IF!")

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Message 9/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  08:57 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

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LOL... totaly Influx... I understand. But it's a joke that just might do something. This sh+t is a mess! Really... and there's no way to fight it. But Satire as a weapon, not a new idea but a good one. Again, I'm not stupid, and i'm not illusioned into thinking this will change things, but it will make people think.. not A LOT of people, unless we get real lucky.. but some.

The whole damned special interest show in California has completely blown up into a circus of the absurd...

And it's not really throwing away $3500, it's throwing away several people's $10 or $20 or whatever dollars... if that's how you want to see it!

The reason the money is needed is because there is a $3500 fee for filing in the election. I assume that's to keep assholes like me out f the game! But that (for me) is all the more reason to do it, and again, to do it with the help of others...

shrug...

e

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Message 10/24                 Date: 25-Jul-03  @  09:42 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Influx

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well yeah man! If it was $10-$20 each, Id be in no prob..I mean...that aint a lot

but anything more than that is kinda tough...

but still, even then...that $3500 would do...what...in so many different ways

its fucking LAME that it COSTS to get into an election. not surprising tho, I guess.

well...Im in if you can get other interest. Id actually rather be a PART of the whole thing...minister of info or something...or just plain ol rabblerouser...

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Message 11/24                 Date: 26-Jul-03  @  09:24 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Maarten

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Can I be ambassador, we'll discuss international policies on ending this damn war-on-drugs.  ?

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Message 12/24                 Date: 26-Jul-03  @  10:22 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Influx

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IMO thats one of the FIRST agendas. use the money to teach people the real dangers of drug use (and lack thereof in some instances)

then we move on to homelessness

and the general lack of courtesy in modern times 

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Message 13/24                 Date: 26-Jul-03  @  11:32 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

k

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well, didn't Jello Biafra almost do it once? - he came second didn't he?

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Message 14/24                 Date: 26-Jul-03  @  09:34 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

errata

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Jello ran for Mayor of Oakland, and came in second, yeah.

We joked about all the things we'd do if we WON! (Which won't happen, to be sure... they'd kill me first, definately). But the best suggestion I heard was to refuse to show up on principal. Send out a press release announcing that no governor's better than me for governor, and DARE THEM to recall me...

My Platform:

Legalize Drugs (and tax them, use the revenues to point out the hazards of drug use... and encourage responsible users).

Sue the energy producers of Texas and the Federal government for the blatant price fixing in the summer of 2000 in civil court. Demand 4 billion!

Develop a commision to look intelligently at the feasibility of California becoming a nation and leaving the Union. We're a generator state. (Which means we pay more to the federal government than we get back. One of only two states in the US with that distinction!)

There's ton's more I could offer, but lets face it... there's no reason. The campaign would be more about the busted up system in our state that allows for a recall of our current governor 1 year before he terms out because people just don't like their lives right now and they want to blame him. It's about how woefully uninformed people are in modern democracy's like ours... and how, without the ability to make informed electoral decisions we LOOSE or rights as democratic citizens!

e

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Message 15/24                 Date: 26-Jul-03  @  10:05 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Influx

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secession? wow

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Message 16/24                 Date: 27-Jul-03  @  01:59 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

Mick

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Can I be Cali's ambassador to some foreign place like Georgia?

So, if you succeed and secede does that mean that my moving there will be an act of defection from the US?

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Message 17/24                 Date: 27-Jul-03  @  04:26 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

mcc>

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give em hell harry>

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Message 18/24                 Date: 27-Jul-03  @  12:54 PM     Edit: 27-Jul-03  |  12:55 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

psylichon

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pot legalization? yes.

secession? where the hell did that come from?

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Message 19/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  02:03 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

beds

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you've got competition e

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Message 20/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  04:52 AM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

errata

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didn't I say...

I quit when Larry Flynt joined the race... This election doesn't need me to mock it... it's doing a fine job of mocking itself...

e

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Message 21/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  02:07 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

99devils

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They've got two actors, a billboard model, and a porn start all either running or considering it.

Only in fucking California!

-Craig

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Message 22/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  05:51 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

cheddar

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if you step back and think about obsession with surface and how this is the most powerful state in the most powerful country...

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Message 23/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  07:35 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

GT

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It should be no mystery...it's all Arnolds.

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Message 24/24                 Date: 07-Aug-03  @  08:41 PM   -   RE: Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You

influx

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was it feinstein who backed out because it was such a joke now?

I'll never understand why its so damn hard. sad thing is that the whole thing is shit from the bottom up now.

the only fix would be a horrifyingly dramatic restructuring, across the board. The interim period would be taxing for everyone

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