Original
Message 1/24
Date: 24-Jul-03 @ 07:47 PM -
Ladies and Gentlemen I Give You
The Next GOVERNOR of the Broken State of California
Yes, it's true... I am taking this internet opportunity to announce my intention to seek the office of Governor in the State of California.
I'm not afraid of big money opportunists with hidden agendas and an air of moral superiority. I intend to shine a beacon (well, a candle maybe) on the corruption and lies and special interest BULLSHIT in this great land!
Let's face it kids... California is an awesome state, filled with beautiful lands and semi sedated people. All of which deserve a governor who shares their hopes, their dreams and their desire for gross consumption without personal responsibility. In short they deserve a man like Gray Davis, but since they can't have that weak kneed pillow biter, they might as well have, ME! Because let's face it kids, this state will just not be able to chill properly with a Republican Governor (did we learn nothing during the stressed out 80's and 90's!)
So here's the rub... I need $3500 to file my intent for election. And I need it fast!!! This is not a hoax... I'm serious (well, at least about my intention to run). But I can't do it without loyal supporters who are willing to cough up a few bucks.
So, I'm asking you to be brave and dare to dream of a powerful, wealthy land Governed by an extremely unlikely liberal hippy type who meditates and produces techno music! Dare to believe that in this great land, even a snide, sarcastic SLACKER can ascend to an unenviable position of responsibility by just being who he is and telling it straight!
I promise, if I can't raise the $3500 in time, I will return all moneys to all contributors. But if I can? well, look out Caifornia...
We're in this SHIT together my friends! I know you believe in me!
e