Original Message                 Date: 26-Nov-06  @  02:21 PM     Edit: 26-Nov-06  |  02:23 PM   -   joke corner

sitar

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A doctor at a hospital comes back to a patient that a showed up not feeling well and says,

"I have bad news for you. You are showing symptoms of avian flu, you're suffering from severe chronic diarrhea, and in an intitial test you've come up positive for hiv. But don't worry. We are going to take good care of you. You are going to get a private room and we'll put you immediately on a diet of flounder and pancakes."

Patient: Is that a diet that's proven to be beneficial?

Doctor: No, those are the only foods we can slip under the door.



In the 1980s, what was the toughest thing to do after finding out you had aids?

Convincing your parents you were Haitian.

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Message 11/17                 Date: 20-Dec-06  @  12:51 PM     Edit: 20-Dec-06  |  12:52 PM   -   RE: joke corner

sitar

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omg!

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Message 12/17                 Date: 21-Dec-06  @  06:27 PM   -   RE: joke corner

sitar

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A marine biologist years ago discovered a new diet and metabolic regimen that would keep his dolphins alive forever.


Part of the treament required him to bring the meat of a particular breed of baby seagull, found only near the lake on the far side of a forest.


While transporting the seagulls through the forest on the way back to the airport, he came across a pack of lions blocking the road.


They were all sleeping, so he had to very carefully tiptoe around them to not wake them up


He managed to do that safely, except that he was met by a policeman on the other side and immediately arrested.


When asking the cop the reason for his arrest, the officer said:


"Attempting to take young gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises."

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Message 13/17                 Date: 21-Dec-06  @  06:40 PM   -   RE: joke corner

milan

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...and the king of bad puns is back! you must be a doctor of the field by now

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Message 14/17                 Date: 21-Dec-06  @  06:49 PM   -   RE: joke corner

sitar

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ha! unfortunately I didn't think that one up.

/sigh

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Message 15/17                 Date: 21-Dec-06  @  07:36 PM   -   RE: joke corner

sitar

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An orchestra is playing Beethoven's 9th Symphony. There is a period for about 20 minutes where the bass section has nothing to play, so they all decide to slip out and go have a few drinks.

One of them says "Hey, we'd better get going."
"Not to worry," says another. "I tied some of the pages to the conductor's music together. We'll have a few more minutes before we have to leave." So they continue drinking.

Finally, they stumble back on stage.

It was the bottom of the ninth, the score was tied, and the bassists were loaded.

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Message 16/17                 Date: 22-Dec-06  @  12:42 AM   -   RE: joke corner

Musineer Productions

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Must be some sort of rounders reference...

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Message 17/17                 Date: 22-Dec-06  @  06:48 PM   -   RE: joke corner

sitar

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baseball

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