oh and some puns were sent to me the other day :P
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony
wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
A jumper cable walks into a bar. The bartender says, "I'll serve you,
but don't start anything."
A man walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says: "A
beer please, and one for the road."
A dyslexic man walks into a bra.
"Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.'" "That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome." "Is it common?" Well, "It's Not Unusual."
An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to
look at either.
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.
Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the
craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can't have your
kayak and heat it too.
A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in
the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories. After about an
hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse. "But
why," they asked, as they moved off. "Because," he said, "I can't stand
chess-nuts boasting in an open foyer."
A woman has twins and gives them up for adoption. One of them goes to a
family in Egypt and is named "Ahmal." The other goes to a family in Spain ;
they name him " Juan." Years later,Juan sends a picture of himself to his
birth mother. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she
wishes she also had a picture of Ahmal. Her husband responds, "They're
twins! If you've seen Juan, you've seen Ahmal."
And a joke,
A woman walks into Walmart with her 2 boys. The Walmart greeter says "Welcome to Walmart" and then asks the woman if her 2 boys are twins.
"No they're not twins. One is 10 and the other is 6. How could you think they were twins? They don't even look like twins."
"It's true m'am they don't, but it's hard for me to imagine you've gotten laid twice."
ouch