I'm glad you brought up frivolous lawsuits because I really wanted to post this but didn't want to start a new topic. This shit is
REAL!!!
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It's time once again to review the winners of the annual "Stella Awards."
The Stella's are named after 81-year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee
on herself and successfully sued McDonalds. That case inspired the Stella
awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.
Unfortunately the most recent lawsuit implicating McDonalds, the teens
who allege that eating at McDonalds has made them fat, was filed after
the 2002 award voting was closed. This suit will top the 2003 list without
question. The following are this year's winners:
5th Place (tie): Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $780,000
by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who
was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were
understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little
toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.
5th Place (tie): A 19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000
and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda
Accord.
Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the
car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.
5th Place(tie): Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a
house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able
to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was
malfunctioning. He couldn't reenter the house because the door connecting
the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on
vacation,
and Mr.Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He
subsisted
on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the
homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental
anguish.
The jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.
4th Place: Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500 and
medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door
neighbor's
beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was
less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little
provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who was shooting it repeatedly with a
pellet gun.
3rd Place: A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of
Lancaster,
Pennsylvania, $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her
coccyx
(tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it
at
her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.
2nd Place: Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of
a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to
the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms.
Walton
was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying
the
$3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.
1st Place: This year's run away winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma
City,
Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home.
On his first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the
freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the drivers
seat
to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly, the
RV
left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for
not advising him in the owner's manual that he couldn't actually do this.
The
jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually
changed
their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other
complete morons buying their recreation vehicles.