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Subject: lol, old VIZ dictionary entries


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Original Message 1/1                 Date: 12-Jul-12  @  09:18 PM   -   RE: lol, old VIZ dictionary entries

k

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lol, found this today while searching for summat else unrelated, worth a guffaw



>Abra-Kebabra: A magic  act performed on Saturday night, where fast food
>vanishes down  the performer's throat, and then shortly afterwards, it
>suddenly reappears on the taxi floor.
>
>Aussie Kiss: Similar to a French Kiss,  but given down under.
>
>Back End of the  Batmobile: The state of your Brass Eye soon after you eat
>really hot curry. I had a Ring Stinger in the Benghazi  restaurant last
>night, and now I've got a dose of Gandhi's  Revenge. My arse feels like>
 the
>back end of the  Batmobile."
>
>Beaver Leaver or Vagina Decliner: A homosexual.
>
>Beer  Coat: The invisible but warm coat worn when walking  home after a
>booze cruise at 3 in the morning.
>
>Beer Compass: The invisible device that  ensures your safe arrival home
>after a booze cruise, even  though you're too pissed to remember where you
>live, how you get there, and where you've come from.
>
>BOBFOC: Body Off Baywatch, Face Off  Crimewatch.
>
>Boiler Suit: The prosecution charge that you did wilfully, and with phallus
>aforethought, score with a Bobfoc last night. This charge is  usually
>brought by a kangaroo court of your friends in the pub  on Saturday night.
>
>Bone of  Contention: A hard-on that causes an argument. e.g. one  that
>arises when a man is watching Olympic  beach volleyball on TV with his
>girlfriend.
>
>Breaking the Seal: Your 1st piss in the  pub, usually after 2 hours of
>drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to  the
>toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the  rest of the night.
>
>Budgie's Tongue or Small Man In A Boat or Tongue  Punchbag: The female
>erection.
>
>BVH: Blue-Veined Hooligan. The  1-eyed skinhead.
>
>Cider Visor: Beer Goggles for the young drinker.
>
>Cliterature: 1-handed reading material.
>
>Cock-A-Doodle-Poo: The bowel movement  that, needing to come out urgently,
>wakes you up in  the morning to get to the toilet quick.
>
>Crappuccino: The particularly frothy  type of diarrhoea that you get when
>abroad.
>
>Double Bass: A sexual position in which  the man enters the woman from
>behind, and then fiddles with the woman's nipples with one hand and her
>Budgie's Tongue with the other. The position is similar  to that used when
>playing a double bass instrument, but the  sound produced is slightly
>different.
>
>Etch-A-Sketch: Trying to draw a smile  on a woman's face by twiddling both
>of her nipples simultaneously.
>
>Fizzy  Gravy or Rusty Water: Diarrhoea.
>
>Flogging On: Surfing the Internet for  some left-handed websites.
>
>Free the Tadpoles: Liberate the residents of Wank  Tanks.
>
>Frigmarole: Unnecessarily time-consuming foreplay.
>
>FuckShitFuckShitFuckShit: The sound made when driving through  too narrow a
>gap at too high a speed.
>
>Going For a McShit: Entering a fast  food restaurant with no intention of
>buying food, you're just  going to the bog. If challenged by a pimply>
 staff
>member, your declaration to them that you'll buy their  food afterwards is>
 a
>McShit With Lies.
>
>Greyhound: A very short skirt, only an  inch from the hare.
>
>Hand-to-Gland  Combat: A vigorous masturbation session.
>
>Hefty Cleft or Horse's Collar or Welly Top: Description of a very large
>vagina.
>
>McSplurry: The  type of bowel movement you experience after dining for a
>week  in fast food restaurants.
>
>Millennium  Domes: The contents of a Wonderbra. i.e. extremely impressive
>when viewed from the outside, but there's actually fuck-all in there worth
>seeing.
>
>Monkey Bath: A  bath so hot, that when lowering yourself in, you go: "Oo!
> Oo! Oo! Aa! Aa! Aa!".
>
>Mystery Bus: The bus that arrives at the pub on Friday  night while you're
>in the toilet after your  10th pint, and whisks away all the unattractive
>people so  the pub is suddenly packed with stunners when you come back in.
>
>Mystery Taxi: The taxi that arrives at your place on Saturday  morning
>before you wake up, whisks away the stunner you slept  with, and leaves a
>10-Pinter in your bed instead.
>
>NBR: No Beers Required. Someone  that you'd chat up instantly in the pub.
> The opposite of  a 10-Pinter.
>
>Picasso Arse: A woman whose knickers are too small for her, so she looks
>like she's got 4 buttocks.
>
>Sperm  Wail or Spuphemism: A verbal outburst during the  male orgasm.
>
>Starfish  Trooper or Arsetronaut: A homosexual.
>
>10-Pinter: Someone that you'd only chat  up after drinking at least 10
>pints.
>
>2-Bagger: Someone that you'd need 2 paper bags to  have sex with. (1 to
>cover their head, and 1 to cover  yours, in case their bag falls off.)
>
>Titanic: A lady who goes down first time out.
>
>Todger Dodger: A  lesbian.
>
>Wank Seance: During a masturbation session, the eerie feeling that you're
>being watched with disgust by your dead relatives.
>
>X-Piles: Unwanted visitors from  Uranus.

___________________________________

I had an idea for a script once. It's basically Jaws except when the guys in the boat are going after Jaws, they look around and there's an even bigger Jaws. The guys have to team up with Jaws to get Bigger Jaws.... I call it... Big Jaws!!!



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